Workaholic

Last year I had promised myself that I wouldn’t work a bit in my final year. I wouldn’t give my name to be part of any event management team, I wouldn’t write for any of our institutes publications, if I do participate in a competition, I wouldn’t be the one organizing the team for it and I wouldn’t teach for the talent hunt program. I would just be really laid back, not having much to worry about except the usual assignments and exams.

Little did I know that these were all empty promises I was making to myself. By the time summer was over, I was already itching to get work on my hands. In fact even though my internship had reached an end, I had this urge to tell my supervisor that if you need any work to be done after my term expires, you can email it to me and I’ll do it from home.

As the semester began I began hunting for things I could do to keep myself busy. I searched for available TA-ships and chased teachers to adopt me as their assistant, but unfortunately couldn’t find any suitable openings. I registered myself in the girls’ sports society as an office bearer, in hopes of getting into a leadership role and eventually won the position (don’t ask me how :p). Suddenly I find myself taking oath, emailing campus authorities to shift sports equipment from here to there, planning the budget and the sports year with the manager of the society and gathering girls to come try out for one sport or another. I agreed to be part of the editorial team of a magazine that get published by one of the societies and soon enough was busy asking people to contribute and making contributions myself. I put together a team to participate in one of the competitions that is run by a MNC every year at our institute. I applied for a campus ambassador program about which we received an email from our career development centre and God knows how I’ll manage if I get selected for it.

My schedule has become extremely topsy turvy and though I do not show it, I secretly enjoy the crazy chaos I’m surrounded with. Guest speaker sessions held at the oddest hours provided the strangest insights into how consumer mindsets work, how market research is conducted, what are major global trends. I’m actually finding myself checking out books from the library in an attempt to get more information on the subjects of my interest. One thing that’s strange for sure is that when I look within myself I cannot find any feelings of sadness at this being my final year at the institute. I’m actually feeling quite content, not exactly ‘glad-to-be-out-of-here-at-last’, but happy that the journey was a good one. That it was worthwhile and that most of the decisions that were taken along the way were good decisions. Perhaps the bitterness will settle in once I’m in my final semester but I do not guarantee it.

Hope

Sometimes, when you keep getting all the things you wish you had in life, there’s this tiny feeling in the corner of your head that things will not always be this way and sooner or later, the tables will turn and you won’t be as successful as you are right now. I guess it is good to have that feeling; it keeps you from showing off what you have, from flaunting your wealth, and thinking too high of yourself. It is a good thing in the sense that it makes you realize that all that you have today is from Him and He can take it back whenever He pleases.

But sometimes you forget. You start thinking that all that you have gathered is because of your own efforts, your own struggle. And so when adversity strikes, it seems like all is lost. There is hopelessness and strife. You think it’s someone’s evil eye that has gotten to you while in fact it was your own carelessness all along. You were the one who was not grateful. You were the one who forgot to say thank you to Him. Every time you take a fall, there’s a lesson in it for you. To be grateful when in endowed with blessings and to be patient when suffering from hardship.

There was this one text message I once received some time ago. I don’t remember it exactly so this is what I got from Wikipedia: According to the fable a powerful king asks assembled wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad, and vice versa. After deliberation the sages hand him a simple ring with the words "This too will pass" etched on it, which has the desired effect.

A verse revealed in the Quran 1400 years ago has the same effect: "..Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." (2:156)

That this verse is associated with death only and uttered upon receiving the sad news of someone’s demise is our fallacy. These are strong words and fill you with belief that yes, this life is just a trial and the real life is that of the Hereafter. Come to think of it, these words are sure to keep you from dwelling on your state of joy or sadness. It gives you strength when you are weak and grief-stricken and it humbles you when you say it in your head when you’ve been blessed with all that you have.

Failing has its own way of leaving you humbled. One little fall reminds you of your powerlessness and how things are not in your control at all. The Will of a Higher Being is involved. Not clearing a test, or an interview, losing your job, not getting selected to represent your university team, we’ve all been there. We may have cried and sulked about it for days but was it worth it? Maybe if we remembered the verse above we would’ve recovered quicker, believing that this life is nothing but a trial. Perhaps in losing something we really want, there’s an opportunity for us to find something that we really need. We just need to keep our eyes open.